On this truly American holiday we all give thanks for the things in life we are grateful for. At the top of my list, as with so many people, I'm thankful for my family. And that is why, on Tuesday, I hopped in the car and to drive nearly 400 miles round trip to pick up my daughter from college so that we could all celebrate Thanksgiving together.
Wanting to time my arrival as close to her getting out of class as possible, but also wanting to miss as much of the morning rush hour as I could, I set off at about 7:45 am. I chose, for this trip, to drive my SUV. Yes, long trips on the highway are better in that sporty sedan but I also knew that as the weather was changing, my daughter would probably have some of her warmer weather clothing and items that needed to come home with us.
Leaving town the traffic was exactly what I had expected, steady but easy to navigate. I got on the four lanes heading north on I-75 and found it to be the same. At that I was able to do a steady 10 miles per hour above the speed limit while blending into traffic with ease.
Close to an hour in I hit my first delay but again, it was expected. The perpetual construction through the traffic death trap that is Dayton didn't surprise me much at all. In fact, I appreciate those workers who are out there repairing our highway system so that we have safe roads on which to drive. And, to my surprise, there were actually a great many of those worker actually doing work. That isn't always the case you know. There was one stretch of I-275 around Cincinnati where "workers" made almost no progress on road repairs and adding a lane for nearly five years.
For those who aren't familiar, I-275 is the longest circle freeway in the United States. Begun in 1958, it not only circles Cincinnati but does so by traveling through three states, six different counties and 25 municipalities. It intersects with the combined I-75/I-71, I-74, then I-75 again, and I -71 again and finally with I-471. Essentially it is 88 miles to nowhere.
The reason for all of these states and counties is quite simple: money. The various politicians who conceived and championed this loop freeway all did so for money. In fact, many of the areas that have grown up outside the 275 loop didn't exist or were tiny specks on the map beforehand. In fact, the entire Eastgate area, east of the city, travels through land that was at one time owned by one of those politicians.
I'm thankful for our politicians. Without these greedy bastards who would we be able to blame for all of our governments going to hell in a handbag?
As I inched my way through the clogged artery of Dayton, I realized that I was moving even slower than normal. So I began flipping the radio dial to see if I could find a traffic update. Sure enough, a dog had been struck just north of the construction that was further impeding traffic. Thus my timing was slowed, dampening my hopes of making it on time to meet my daughter as she left class.
Eventually I made it through the congestion and saw some daylight. I began pressing the accelerator a little harder as I easily moved in and out of patches of slower vehicles. I wasn't the only one, though. In fact, there were several cars, an Audi, a Jag, a Vette, and a few more, that were outpacing me with little trouble.
Anyone who is familiar with this stretch of I-75 knows that eventually the four lanes drop down to three and then down to two. The speed limit along this road is 65 miles per hour. Being one of the major roads connecting many industrial centers of the north to Florida, it is one of the most heavily traveled roads in this half of the country. Especially by trucks.
I'm thankful for trucks and the people who drive them. My cousin is a trucker. Now he does the shorter hauls so that he can spend more time at home but he used to own his own rig and do the long, cross country hauls. People like my cousin are responsible for moving vast amounts of the materials we all use and need from various points throughout the country. Without truckers, I might not have had that turkey that was sitting in my refrigerator to be cooked on the grill using alder wood on Thursday.
The trouble with truckers in this day and age, though, is that they are heavily regulated (by those same politicians). Truckers used to be able to literally haul ass down the highways, hitting whatever speeds they could in order to get to their destinations in the shortest amount of time. Now their speeds are restricted. What this means is that quite often, on two lanes, you encounter one truck driving in the right lane at 65 miles per hour and another in the left lane trying to pass him at 67 mph. This makes it impossible for someone trying to make up time on their trip to pass either truck in a timely manner.
So as I waited and then jetted around trucks when I was able, I really wasn't making up the amount of time I had hoped. Unfortunately for me, the water I had been drinking had little trouble in making it's way through my body and soon I found myself having to pee.
Thankfully, because of those politicians who all wanted one in their area, I-75 between Dayton and Toledo has what seems like a rest stop ever 30-40 miles. As I pulled into one, hopped out and made my way to the men's room, I was quite thankful indeed.
I was also quite thankful, and very surprised, that when I hit the highway after losing a little water weight, that the road was pretty much open. In fact, as I hit the freeway and was getting up to speed, an Infinity sedan carrying two women, zoomed past. I immediately fell in behind them, easily keeping pace.
What I expected was for us to catch up to the tangle of traffic in which I had been driving prior to my pit stop. But we didn't seem to find it. Instead the road was pretty much open. The left lane rarely had anyone in it and as we would approach anyone who was there immediately fell into the slow lane. I soon found myself taking lines through turns, drifting back and forth between the two empty lanes, driving more sleekly than the pace setting Infinity.
As I did this, my mind drifted back, longing for that old Jaguar E-Type that I loved so much. But I also realized that the cost of upkeep on that classic car was equal to large chunks of college tuition. Then I was thankful for the guy who overpaid for it.
We were moving with ease, just south of Findly, when all of a sudden I saw a State Trooper pulling onto the highway, down the ramp. I was a little peeved, knowing that having an officer of the law this close would hamper my driving, especially my speed. But I'm thankful to law enforcement. I have a number of friends who are police officers.
I have one friend, a SWAT member, who has been my gun wrangler on a couple of shoots, including the feature film Dead Horse. In fact, in the scene where Dan Von Bargen's character is arrested, my friend is the only real police officer that we used (the rest were stand-up comedians).
Another of my friends is the chief of police in the small town where we shot a good portion of that film (as well as a couple of shorts prior to that). He once took me on a night time ride around that same I-275 loop in his brand new department issued Dodge Challenger. There was no electronic damping on its engine. I will admit that he got it up to 10 miles per hour faster than I dared take it. I only topped out at about 122.
Still another friend who is with the police has a small range near his house. We went there to shoot close up footage of a rifle firing for a documentary film about some feuds down in Kentucky. While there, he broke out some of his toys for us to shoot. Trust me, if you ever get the chance to safely shoot a fully automatic Uzi, take it.
On the web series we're in the process of making, Wise Guys?, one of the actor's day gig is as a police officer for one of the areas around Eastgate. He's a great guy, great actor and very, very funny. He showed up for our first read through with a black eye and some other cuts and bruises that he received from an unruly drunk driver he was having to arrest. Trust me, the drunk looked a lot worse.
So you see, I have a lot of friends who are police and I respect what they do. And I had respect for that State Trooper who pulled up beside me, shot me an angry look, and pointed that I should pull over. I gave him the OK sign, nodded and slowed to work my way to the shoulder as he hit the lights and pulled over the Infinity.
Suddenly in my mind I heard Sammy Hagar singing. "Write me up for 125. Post my picture wanted dead or alive. Take my license, all that jive. I can't drive 55." Well on this day it was obvious that I couldn't drive 65.
He went to the Infinity first and that gave me time to dig out my license, registration and proof of insurance. As he walked my way he no longer had a scowl but was trying to hide a bit of a smile. I greeted him, handing him my information and offered no argument when he told me a place had clocked us at over 80. To be honest, there were times when we were going quite a bit faster than that.
The officer processed me first and as he had me sign the ticket he went through the drill of how I can either pay or show up to court. He asked why so fast and I told him the truth, I was picking up my daughter from college. I fell in behind the Infinity and was making good time on a nice day. He asked if I knew the women in the Infinity. When I said I didn't he smiled again. "They're trying to talk their way out of it, aren't they?" He just smiled and said, "Have a nice day and slow down."
I didn't have any further incident on my way to pick up my daughter or on our trip back home.
A little later today I'll take that turkey and put it on the grill for around six hours, letting it soak up the smoke of the alder wood. Then the whole family will sit down at the table and, as we eat too much and talk about everything in our lives, I'll look around and know that I will eternally be thankful for my family.
And this year, I'll be thankful that my speeding ticket was only $125.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
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